when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
