I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You need Xanax blowdarts
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
