ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize