How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i now understand why vodka
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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