if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
this hospital has no fireball
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
