Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
