that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
