haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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