this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
