im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
