why didn't you poke me back
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
