hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
