I wish I could teleport
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
