im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
