there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
sarcasm needs its own font
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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