I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
