Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
