Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
