Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize