if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
try to milk me bitch
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