Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize