used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
