I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
