You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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