I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You are the jesus of drinking
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
