No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
