Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
