very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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