I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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