At least make sure they are 18
Why
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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