They should really pass out barf bags in church
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
