OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fuck appropriateness.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
