i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
