Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
