Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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