is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
