Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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