So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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