is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
