My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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