when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
