she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you will always have a special place in my vag
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
