I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
