i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize