so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
