I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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