I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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