oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
