Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
