Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
