i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
