Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
