I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
