Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize
