I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
