We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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