You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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