we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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