My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
