You can't motorboat a personality
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
