party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize