the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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