It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
