Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
