apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
