I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
