I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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