How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I cockslap morals
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
