Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my being single is dangerous.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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