Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize